Legends of Zeldas: Day I (Legend of Zelda)

For this spectacular blog, I have dedicated myself to playing every Zelda game in consecutive order. We will start with the original Legend of Zelda, which I can already tell will take me several weeks at best. I will try to avoid walkthroughs and cheats as much as I can and try to beat each game I can.

I will be playing the following games:

The Legend of Zelda (NES)
Adventure of Link (NES)
A Link to the Past (SNES)
Link's Awakening (GB)
Ocarina of Time (N64)
Majora's Mask (N64)
Oracle of Ages/Seasons (GBC)
Wind Waker (GCN)
Four Sword Adventures (GCN)
The Minish Cap (GBA)
Twilight Princess (Wii/GCN)
Phantom Hourglass (DS)

The following games feature the Zelda label and/or the character of Link, but will not be played, for they are not a real part of the Zelda canon or were not a major release title.

BS Zelda (SNES Satellaview) - Just a re-release
Faces of Evil (CDi) - Crap
Wand of Gamelon (CDi) - Crap
Zelda's Adventure (CDi) - Crap
Super Smash Bros (N64/GCN/Wii) - Not Zelda canon
Soul Calibur II (GCN) - Not Zelda Canon
Four Swords (GBA) - It was a multiplayer feature on the GBA re-release of a Link to the Past and not a stand-alone game.
Tingle's Balloon Fight (DS) - No.
Freshly Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland (DS) - Never made it to the states.
Link's Crossbow Training (Wii) - I don't even own it and it appears to be little more than a shooting gallery.

The Legend of Zelda
(NES)

We start off with The Legend of Zelda. We're told that "Gannon" has captured Zelda in his attempt to obtain the Triforce. Zelda takes her Triforce of Wisdom and shatters it into eight pieces and scatters them across Hyrule. You, Link, take the task of obtaining the shattered pieces and rescuing Zelda from "Gannon's" dirty paws.

The first thing you'll notice is that Ganon's name is misspelled (though in my virtual console version, that has been corrected. They also misspelled 'penninsula'. They like their double N's. For some reason, that was not corrected.)

We start off in the middle of a field with no helpful tips to get us started. We'll begin by walking into this nice looking cave nearby, where an old man decides to give us a wooden sword. How kind. With no further instruction we'll begin to look for piece one of the Triforce.

Many minutes of searching follow with no sign of the mysterious Level 1. My three little hearts can barely contain themselves. With no sign of what to do, I end up buying some bombs and collecting some rupees before finally discovering the amazing Level 1, which took all of 15 minutes to beat. A barrage of skeletons and bats attack me as I find my way to a nice bow and a boomerang. However, my lack of arrows makes my bow completely useless. I find my way to a nice green dragon and beam-sword him to death. I now have four hearts and am ready to begin my next quest: Level 2.

Level 2 doesn't seem too easy to find, however. I can find Level 3 and 5, but I pass them for now, assuming I can't do them yet. I buy a blue candle (not sure what it does, though) and a larger shield. However, a new shield makes Level 2 no easier to find. It's been a whole hour and my vow to not use maps is already falling on thin ice. After my 200th consecutive death, I decide now is a good time to stop. My quest to save Hyrule will continue later.

---

I'm back a few hours later with a vengeance and I only looked at a map a little bit. It doesn't matter, because I already forgot where Level 2 is. Heading towards the forested region of the map, a group of Octoroks knocks me down to one heart almost instantly. Ever valiant, I press on. Only once do I question why I'm doing this to begin with, or how Princess Zelda contacted me. Apparently, my country needs me.

Finally obtaining the Rupees, I invest in some arrows. Still having no idea where Level 2 is I wander on, killing all Moblins and Tektites in my path. Eventually, I arrive in a green mountainous region with a large staircase. Curious, I go up. Guarded by a lone blue Octorok is the mysterious Level 2. My hours long quest is over.

Aside from being a bluer color than the previous dungeon, the architecture appears identical. Valiantly, I slaughter a battalion of vicious rattlesnakes. Now, I'm being attacked by these weird boomerang dog things but I make quick work of them. A single Rupee is my prize. Continuing on, I am attacked by... more snakes. In the next room, I am immediately pelted to death with fireballs and boomerangs. I try again.

Choosing a different path, I find a key guarded by snakes. I kill the snakes and hijack the key, making three keys I have now. I arrive in the fireball room and am immediately killed again. I hate that room. Progressing to a weird sand filled room, I am chased by fireballs. I have no idea what this is about, but I discover I can attack the fireballs; this seems a logical thing to do. I stumble across the boss, Dodongo, and kill him via feeding him bombs. The next room gives me a piece of the Triforce. That seemed way too easy. However, still having four keys and several unlocked doors, I venture back in. I claim a compass, which is entirely useless now. I then find a map, which show the dungeon as crescent shaped. This is sort of useful. I wind up in the fireball room and die AGAIN!

...and AGAIN.

This time I go into the fireball room and kill everything with bombs. This proves successful and I get a much nicer boomerang. And an old man informs me that the Dodongo dislikes smoke. A bit late there, old fellow.

As I continue, my map shows a room I seem unable to get to. My knowledge of explosives tempts me to bomb the wall, and my instinct proves valid. However, it just leads me back to the old guy. How ever so useful. I decide to leave, but a snake gets the best of me. I tell no one of this failure.

I take a moment to question my backstory. Do I have a backstory? Was the NES hardware too weak for plot? How old am I? Not very old I assume. Am I from Hyrule? If not, where am I from? If not, why am I saving Hyrule? Do I know Zelda? Where the hell are all the Hyrulians? Why are there only old people in caves?

I have no time to ponder such questions, for Hyrule needs me. I search for Level 3. Having already seen it, I essentially know where to go. The architecture here is vastly different. The previous dungeons were shades of blue, and this dungeon is a shade of green.

The blobs have now evolved. Before, a mere boomerang could take care of them. Now they have become larger and I actually have to use my sword. In the next room, killing more blobs gives me a key. I somehow have three keys.

Three armored knights come at me next, and unlike all my previous enemies, my boomerang does nothing. They kill me. The game over music is stuck in my head.

This time I kill the knights and get some bombs. Killing some more blobs gets me another key. And another group of guards kill me...again.

And again....

And again....

And again....

This time I take a different path and find the map...which shows that the dungeon is shaped like a swastika (sort of...swastikas point the opposite direction). I run into some more guards that kill me. Jerks.

I find an old man who asks me if I got the sword from the old man on top of the waterfall. I tried, but he wouldn't let me take it. I'll go back after this. I get to the guards and this time they drop a stopwatch. I smile as I deliver sweet, oh so sweet, revenge. The next room has a shitload of those damn guards and they slaughter me like the pig I am.

After a shitload of retries, luck and bombs, all those damn guards finally die and I go on to claim my...raft? Okay....

I make my way to the boss, and after wasting 4 bombs I finally kill it. That doesn't stop it from killing me apparently, as I am hit by a god damned fireball even though the thing is already dead. What the crap?

This time it dies with one bomb. I hate my life.

I go in and claim my Triforce piece. I am so glad that is over with.

Now with six hearts and three pieces of the Triforce, I move on to level four. But first, I will navigate to the man on top of the waterfall.

On my journey, I died several more times. An old man let me choose between a heart container and a red potion. I chose the heart container. Alas, I found my old man and got a better sword. On to Level 4. I find a little green dock and raft across. I have found Level 4.

Level 4 is a good place to stop. I shall return tomorrow.